Saturday, August 27, 2011

Good Morning World

Good Morning and welcome to my world.

I'm going out to work today,
 just my
real day
since July 18th.

Some tremendously life changing
"side effects"??
after surgery
have knocked me for a

Today I will brave the world,
with assistance,
  see if
I can
back to work.

No one knows just how disconcerting it is to find one cannot
grasp objects
until it happens to them.

I have a new compassion.

God is good about teaching us the skill set He intends us to posess . . .
even at this stage in life.

He will give us all the tools we will need to be tender hearted
and ready to assist and understand
and have empathy for
the people
wants us to serve.

I hope this
lesson is well learned
I do not need to
study it again . . .

There are people I need to thank
a thousand times
for what they've done 
to bless me
during this process!

Now I will attempt to go to work
several days a week
and to
 have a fresh perspective
how blessed I've always been
to be healthy and strong and self-sufficient
and capable.

Thanks for your well wishes and love!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Side Effects

Dear Ones,
Many of you are following my post surgical escapades on the blog,
so I'm dedicated to keeping you posted on the 
up and down recuperation process.

I had a couple of good days . . .
the sort of days that make you think it's nearly over!
That you're ready to tackle the world,
at least
to get back to work.

So, you begin to try things you haven't been able to do for awhile

like going outside into the sunlight
lifting things, to rearrange them...

and you fall on your face.

I have to sit down and figure out why I feel so well some days, 
and then when I try to accomplish something simple 
like tying my shoes, 
or walking 2 blocks to pick up a few groceries,
or vacuuming,
I relapse.

I drop things
I stumble into things
I reach for something and miss it
Words on a page or computer screen move around
Dizziness worsens
Light creates an unbearable stress on my brain
Vision becomes distorted.

Not only can't I figure it out,
doctors still can't figure it out.

So, I've been trying to re-read my journal
 to determine a pattern.

Light is my first guess.

The more I subject myself to sunlight
fluorescent light
sometimes even the light coming in my
windows through the blinds,
the worse my condition seems to get.

Motion is my second guess.

Sitting still or lying down
for an hour or more
seems to calm my center.

Walking is fine for a short distance
in my dimly lit house
at a minor pace.
Bending is disastrous.

Walking outside in the sunlight
riding in a car
with landscape and other vehicles flying past
and sunshine flashing in
causes havoc.

I have invested in some super dark, wrap around, protective sunglasses
 my opthamologist
Even they are not enough to filter the light and protect my eyes and brain.

I do not intend to become a hermit!

Last week, brother dearest,
(visiting from Florida),
took me out for a drive.
Returning home, I stumbled getting out of the car.
I recovered.
Then I dropped my keys.
I bent to pick up my keys and lost my balance.
I got to the door, reached for the door knob, and missed.

I had that feeling that I'd been filled with concrete.

I went inside, went into my room,
and fell down.
I lay there, thinking . . .
I eventually got up, layed down across the bed
and spent the next 10 hours sleeping.

The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and some toast.
I took a sip.
It dribbled down my chin.

I took a bite of toast.
I couldn't swallow like I usually do.
The muscles in my throat wouldn't work
quite right . . .

I called my Primary Care Physician
who said to go to the E.R.
She was suspecting a T.I.A.

Transient Ischemic Attack.
Sometimes referred to as a
"mini stroke".

The thing about T.I.A.
is that you cannot see it
 on an M.R.I.
 C.T. scan.

The problems brought on by
resolve themselves,
often within hours.

As I waited, (five hours in the E.R.),
I tried to explain to the attending physician in my halted speech,
exactly what had happened over the last few weeks.

During those five hours,
two helicopters landed with incoming emergency patients.
Flight For Life.
A dozen ambulances arrived.
People were having heart attacks,
people were bleeding profusely,
I was in much better shape than any of

The good doctors once again could not definitively determine
exactly what the cause of my
might be.

is a forewarning sign

I am in denial about this being a series of T.I.A.'s

I still believe, as do several specialists, that this is a drug/chemical reaction.

The good news is that I also believe I'm improving
just a little,
every day.

Keep those prayers going!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Storming Outside

The wind is blowing so hard outside that I'm hearing that whistling noise 
 I usually only hear in winter . . . 
It's turned awfully stormy,

the sort of stormy that makes me wonder 
if I need to turn on the radio and listen for 
a weather advisory????

I'm making a pot of coffee,
 and baking some cookies . . . 

just because it feels like that sort of 

The sort of afternoon when you want to cozy up
with a good book
and some classical music
and good coffee,
and warm cookies . . .

and hope the storm lasts
for a while.

Maybe I'll put on a load of laundry,
just to pretend I'm being
industrious and such!

Or not . . . 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Maybe I Spoke Too Soon

I posted earlier today, 
telling you how much better I was feeling . . . 

I hate it when I brag about how well somethings going,
and then it goes to pieces . . . 

I really did feel better this morning,
and I still contend that my speech
and other faculties
are on the upswing.

I felt soooo fine that I decided to
venture out into the sunshine and fresh air,
and take a short walk to the grocery store.

I slipped into my fancy red flip flops
with the cute red flower poofs
that everyone always compliments me on!

It's only about 2 blocks, across a lovely green lawn and brick pathway,
with trees and flowers . . .
a sweet stroll.

I knew I could do it,
and it would be good for me . . .
and I really need to get out and begin testing my abilities
and building up my confidence,
and using the muscles I've been neglecting while I sit indoors
recovering from

whatever it is that has blindsided me and knocked me for a loop
since my surgery nearly a month ago.

read my four previous posts before you decide to have surgery!

So . . . 
I walked to the grocery store.

I was delighted . . . 
I was proud . . .
I was feelin' good . . . 

I took my lovely burlap grocery tote,
conscientious consumer that I am . . .

and picked up a few necessities.

I smiled at everyone.
I took my time.

This was a major accomplishment . 

I was enjoying the event.

I was contemplating the produce.

 have time to contemplate the produce like some shoppers do -
it's usually a quick trip,
throw it into the cart,
get it done,
get on to the next thing on my list . . .

I started home.

I made it home.

I put my sweet burlap grocery tote down.

I dropped into my cozy chair.

I took a breath and wondered what was wrong with me.

If you told me someone had just poured 300 pounds of concrete into my body
I would have simply answered,

I couldn't move.

I really couldn't move.

The room was tilting,
my head was spinning,
and my body was full of very heavy concrete.
Or something.

I leaned over,
laid my head on the arm of the chair
and immediately passed out.

I awoke a couple of hours later,
feeling as if I might be able to get up.

I washed my face,
 brushed my teeth, drank a glass of water, and laid back down.

It's a start - and who knows . . .
maybe tomorrow will be better!

The Strangest Ride I've Ever Been On

It is nearly
 one month
 since my journey began, with post surgical neurological deficits.

Four to five days a week 
I'm receiving therapy to enhance my recovery
 from what can only be described as one of the strangest rides I've ever been on!

I'm now
  detoxing my body
from all chemicals and drugs
 that may have invaded my brain and central nervous system
 during said surgery.

organic, chemical free,
foods and juices.

systemic cleanse.

Herbal supplements.

vitamins and minerals.


These are a few of my favorite things!

My speech is now improving
every day!

My walking is improving.

My balance still leaves something to be desired.

My eye-hand coordination,
are now improving.

The room still spins and tilts on occasion.
The occasions are beginning to spread out and be less frequent.
Sunlight and motion bring them on, with a vengeance!

Because I trust God to answer prayers, I have hope!
Thank you to the many people who have stood firm in their belief that God hears our prayers,
and in their commitment to pray for me.

 I have begun to see some definite improvements,
I'm excited by the improvements!

I have to tell you,
I was beginning to wonder
if I was lost in some
  never-never land 
of post surgical dementia and bizarre side effects.

When a myriad of physicians are left without a clue
 as to what is going on in their patient's body,
one begins to feel a little abandoned
and frustrated.

If I didn't have the prayer and support of close friends and family,
I cannot imagine where my mind would stray . . .

That, and the commitment of my
 chiropractic team 
to treat me with their years of education, experience and expertise.
They recognized my problem and went to work to correct the issue.
Their treatment approach has been the key to my recovery!

Let me encourage anyone who is struggling through the
 labyrinth of doctors who merely prescribe drugs
as a solution to our illnesses . . . 

There are many approaches to healing,
and it takes doctors who 
listen carefully,

and who occasionally dare to
 step outside the boundaries
traditional thought processes and quick solutions,

to find the appropriate healing technique needed.

Thank you Lord!
Thank You Doctor!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Update On My Crazy Life on Scopolamine

This might alternately have been entitled,

Day 15
If I'm counting correctly . . . 
this would be day 15 in my recovery from 

whatever the issue was
that knocked my socks off
and changed life as I know it
after my surgery.

According to my myriad of physicians.
there is nothing they can account for
that would cause my world to be tilted at approximately 30 degrees.

They claim no understanding of the spinning or the rocking.
There is no medical cause for my dizziness,
the coming and going of peripheral vision
and extreme light sensitivity.

Tpy vufow rhinls alpwnef suygxxl.
(I love to read.) 

And how about the fact that I still could only randomly depend upon my
 motor skills 
to eat or brush my teeth or scratch my head?
(I love to eat.)

For the most part, I used to be able to do those things.
Generally speaking.
Prior to surgery.
(I love being able to do the simple things in life, 
like wash my face without poking my finger into my eye.)

Post surgery, my speech declined to a rate of
S . . . l . . . o . . . .w.

Now it's just s.l.o.w.

Last week I demanded,
"I want my chiropractor!"

I told Dr. Chiropractor,
"Look at my condition.
You saw me several days before I had surgery on July 18th."
"What's happened to me?"

Dr. Chiropractor listened carefully, did a series of tests, 
and told me exactly what was happening in my central nervous system.
(I love when a doctor really listens to what I'm saying.)

He has seen this sort of reaction to drugs before,
and because he has spent a lifetime studying and teaching about the central nervous system,
he has a well thought out, researched and documented
 for helping my brain and nervous system recover!
Turns out there have been studies done about people who suffer this sort of drug reaction.

Who knew?
(Should someone call my neurologist?)

I don't claim to understand what's happened, but he does.
He is helping me make progress.

Now my fork gets to my mouth most of the time.
I have stopped bumping into walls.
I'm only having to correct every third word when I type.

I am able to read somewhat more easily than I could last week.  

My taste buds and sense of smell rebounded within an hour of his first treatment.
Withing several hours, my stomach began to growl and things started happening!
I was alerted by my brain for the first time in weeks that I was hungry!

After his second treatment, my speech has improved dramatically.
The metallic, poisonous taste in my mouth has all but gone away.

I'm not tripping like I was.
(I'm referring to my ability to walk 
without stumbling into or over objects.)
(I love to be able to walk)

My hands stopped shaking.

Not everything has miraculously returned to normal,
 I'm no longer afraid and ashamed to answer my phone 
because people won't be able to understand my speech!

 especially in a car where landscape and light and
 other moving objects
fly past in my peripheral vision,
enhances my dizziness,
I can recover from that dizziness by sitting still for some time.
Calmness, stillness and dim light promote the leveling and steadying of my world.

It is still awkward to try and achieve much
in my day.

I'm puttering about the house more,
doing some housekeeping

 and personal grooming.
(I love it when I smell clean.)

Friends are driving me to doctor appointments.

I took out the trash.
I walked to my mailbox
(hey - it's a block away!)

My bed gets made.

I'm checking email every few days.

My friends are holding down the fort at 
Patina Antiques!
Bless you Anne and Deb.

Rox has been in and out delivering and shuttling inventory
and getting my deposits made.

Lisa calls me three times a day to be sure I'm still breathing and upright.
(I love my friends.)

The thought of blogging crosses my mind, but as you can see,
I haven't been achieving very much.

I have been focusing on the expedient
rather than the creative . . . 

So, today my friend Zoe took a batch of phone photos of my spaces at 
The Gallery.
She suggested they might need some consideration
because they're beginning to miss me.
I'm looking at the photos via her text message!
(I love my phone that can do text photos.) 

I called brother dearest, who has been remodeling my daughter's 
house in Evergreen while he's visiting from Florida.
(I love my family.)

Tomorrow, after being shuttled to the doctor,
I'm going to attempt my first foray into 
the world 

and see if I can lean against some solid, steady object,
give direction to these kind assistants 
who will be my hands and feet.

Perhaps . . . 
I will accomplish something creative and productive

we'll see . . .

(I love my chiropractor.)


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